According to a growing body of research, the infatuation instinct has predictable effects on a man. Here are the top 5:
- He becomes blind to a woman’s ‘negative traits’ and can only see her positive qualities. This is why men can become obsessed with women who don’t have any of the things they say they want. And why a woman can be perfect for a man “on paper” but he still won’t choose her. (Fisher, p. 415)
- He’s unable to imagine having feelings for someone else. When a man’s infatuation instinct is turned on, he develops “the inability to feel romantic passion for more than one person at a time” (Fisher, p. 415). So even the most commitment-phobic man will find all his desire focused entirely on one woman.
- He becomes moody — elated at one moment, and depressed the next. Since infatuation creates “emotional dependency on the relationship fear of rejection, and separation anxiety” A man will be desperately afraid of losing her, and his mood will go up and down depending on how much attention and security she gives him. (Fisher, p. 416)
- He experiences “intrusive thinking” about her. The infatuation Instinct turns on obsessive thinking in a man, and according to research she’ll be on his mind nearly constantly — “in many cases over 85% of waking hours” (Fisher, p. 416)
- He’s willing to reorder his priorities for her. Since the infatuation drive is so overpowering, men will often “change their clothing, mannerisms, habits, or values to become more available to [her]”. If a man complains that a certain woman doesn’t fit into his life, he’s likely not infatuated. But if he’s willing to alter his routines and habits to make her fit, he is. (Fisher, p. 417)
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